Often times I wonder what holds me back from achieving more or perhaps from something as simple as living or being in the moment. There are a growing number of us that continually strive for more and want more but also want to live a fulfilling life. I guess I want to know that my life meant something and that I’ve made a difference.
In all my years of reading and research I’ve come across countless ideas as to what holds us back, but there seems to be one underlying thought that I know we have all read about or to some extent heard about that may be holding us back or stopping us … our past. A lot of what happens to us today in great part is owed to our past and how we deal with or have dealt with it.
Yes, our past, but more specifically, our attachment to the past has the ability to stall us, limit us, no matter where we are, be it a new relationship, a new job, an adventure, taking risks … doing something we have always wanted to do but never quite seem to be able to make it happen … living life … appreciating all we have and where we are on this journey.
Why is so difficult to let go of a habit or an addiction or a toxic relationship in our personal life or business life? Fear? Fear of what? Fear that we’ll be alone? Fear that no one will come to our aid if we need help? Fear that someone could hurt us? Fear that our trust will be broken? Fear of death? Or even scarier, fear of living?
Ask yourself; What is the fear based on? Most likely our fears are based on events from our past whether we recall them in this life on a conscious level or have some memory embedded in our DNA from a previous life. It’s this deep seeded fear of what we experienced; things that inevitably have brought us pain; pain on a physical, emotional or mental level. And so the memory lingers as we live our lives driven by these fears.
In my not so distant past, I had the privilege of interviewing Guy Finley who wrote the book, The Secret of Letting Go. The book is a great tool and provides a common sense approach to letting go of our past. I’ve placed several Guy’s quotes in this blog.
Guy Finley: “Here is a truth unseen by the masses, but evident to those weary of going nowhere fast: he who rushes through life always finishes last! Here’s why this is true: we race as we do to escape our sense of unhappiness with where we are, endlessly running towards what we imagine will free us from our own dissatisfied feelings; but such races are always lost before they begin, because who do you know that can outrun himself?”
Here is what I have learned about letting go; In order to let go I have to trust. Trust that what gave me comfort or the illusion of comfort is no longer of service to me. Isn’t it true that if we trust unconditionally we are completely vulnerable and/or defenseless? This is not an easy state to be in. We expose ourselves to pain and hurt not just by others but also by ourselves. And yet, Gerald Jampolski in the Course in Miracles said, “In my defenselessness lies my safety.” One of the greatest oxymoron’s ever spoken.
Yes, letting go may be the secret or one of the many secrets to living a fulfilling life but rest assured it is not easy. For those that make the effort to change and move forward, we will and often do see the results. Its an every changing landscape and we have to adjust as we make our way through this maze so ultimately we come out on the other side renewed and ready to live the life we were meant to live.
Guy Finley: There are three ways to get what one wants from life: cunning, industry, or love. The “crafty” ones inevitably trap themselves. Industry is good, but at best, conditional, for it is subject to the passage — and ravages — of time. Love, on the other hand, liberates; and it is timeless. In the end, the love of something is its own reward, because whatever love makes from itself… love first finds within itself.
Here is what I know; Everyone one of us is meant for greatness. We are all gifted in some way. Deep down I believe that it is our natural state of being, to be of service to others and that we all wish for others’ well being. We do what we can be we lose our way or we get stuck and cannot seem to move forward
What I can suggest is this: if you have this deep seeded desire to do more, achieve more, be more, want more out of life, then take a hard look at the life you live now. Are you living day to day out of fear, making fear based decisions or knowing that you are exactly where you need to be and everything is exactly as it should be?
Honesty, truth and trust are what are needed to get started.
In closing, one last quote by Guy Finely: “Honesty heals; lies hurt. In these four words lives all one needs to know and practice, that is, assuming one wishes to be whole, harmless, true and loving”